My horse loves cross country

Yesterday was a big day, our first cross country lesson! I was on the fence about even driving to Otter Creek at first because they had snow on the ground the day before but I went anyways and was so glad I did. By the time we were outside it was 40 degrees and sunny without any snow in sight. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous. It was only mine and Kelso's third time outside together and we haven't been jumping much as we've been so focused on getting his balance and rideability better on the flat. Luckily all that dressage paid off and he was much more balanced over the jumps and did not rush off after landing!

We started warming up over cross rails and after a few times through we were cantering around the edge of the ring and my trainer Jenny said "take that one" and pointed to a small coop on the long side of the arena. We were only a few strides out, not enough room to protest, so we went to it and got right over. And Kelso got over it without any help from me, I had no idea what I was doing so i just hung on and left the jumping up to him. I was so focused on the approach and the landing afterwards that I didn't stop to realize that was our first cross country jump together until Jenny pointed it out! After a few more we went outside the ring and had our inaugural canter in the field. It felt amazing! Kelso was so smooth and so rideable, he listened so well and was quite happy to be outside in the beautiful weather. He was so fun to ride, he marched right out to the field ears up and ready to go and was super over everything we took him through. We went in the water first, up and down the bank, over a starter novice coop and then a beginner novice coop and over several ditches. He loved it! He was taking me right to all the jumps without any hesitation or wiggly-ness. And he didn't gallop off or buck or get crazy out in the field by himself. I think he's going to be awesome in competition, I can just tell he has the attitude where he wants to do the job and do it well. He was so proud of himself on the way back to the barn! I was so happy, I took that amazing feeling with me all day.

Me and Kelso... we're officially going to be eventers!

So not everything got fixed in one week... Ok fine.

Woo hoo! And we're off to show season! First entry sent in and pony off to boot camp. Now I have 2 weeks to memorize my dressage test and to somehow miraculously find underwear that doesn't give me a line under my white breeches... Yeah, enter at A, X halt salute is going to be much easier.

I think we're all getting a little wound up around the barn knowing that game day is coming up. The theme of Thursday's lessons was the super useful phrase "I Can't." I think it was used in 3 lessons in row, including my own mid-lesson temper tantrum. It's hard when everything is going so well and then all of a sudden there's a bad day. Kelso's been so amazing all week and I was not expecting such a fight right off the bat. He was really resistant to the contact and feeling so heavy in my hands. I get tired and then go back to bad habits... when he gets one over on me and we're both out of balance it's so hard to put it all back together. Luckily by the end of it we got it and we were back to the place we'd been in all week. If anything stood out to me it's that my own expectations have increased quite a bit. I know what to look for now and I'm not taking anything less, even when it's hard!

Now it's up to Jenny to get it together out on cross country... Good luck!

Words of wisdom from Doug Payne

So as the count down to show season continues, here's something to keep in mind from Doug Payne. Yeah, my horse (and myself for that matter!) is probably gonna be a little hot and a little nervous in the ring. Maybe I'll print this off and stick it in my coat pocket!

Learning to find comfort in uncomfortable places

Such a good ride today in my lesson. To be sitting up with quiet hands and having Kelso reaching under himself and be that light and that forward really felt like an accomplishment. All I wanted to figure out was how to ride this horse and I finally feel like I might be getting there. We've got a lot of work to do yet but it feels manageable. It's just about making every step count, not giving up or giving in, knowing I'm on the right track and pushing my boundaries. Take it to 100% today because that bar is always moving and you'll never get there if you're not willing to follow it. It's so inspiring to feel the potential in my horse, to get little glimpses of what we can do together and to feel like we're partners. Our goals this week are to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone... go for more.

Hannah Biggs trains Torri on self-carriage TRAILER

What a great clip from Hannah Biggs reinforcing what I just learned at my clinic. I'm not out there to ride a pretty canter around a ring- get what you want and get it done!

It doesn't have to be right right now

Where are my friends?

Wow. My body aches and my brain is fried. What a roller coaster weekend of riding. I went from "maybe I'll feel better if I cry in the car for a minute" on the first day to "He's not hanging on my hands!!! I'm sitting up straight and my horse is moving under me and we might actually be doing this!!" on the third day.

The first day it felt like I was holding 2 thirty pound weights out in front of me. My position looked like 5th place in children's hunters. My body kept telling my brain "you can't do this, you're not strong enough, you're not good enough, you'll never be able to ride this horse" which was maybe not the most confidence building thing to be going through my head at the time. I got done with my first ride and felt like I just hadn't done anything of quality while in the saddle. I watched the video of my ride which just confirmed everything I was thinking while riding, it just wasn't very good. I kept thinking he's heavy and fast and I have no control and you want me to do more of that??

Luckily I had a whole afternoon of riders to watch while I pondered my less than stellar ride. I watched amazing riders sit up straight on their horses, kick their horses on when they were misbehaving, and half halt with their hips in front of the shoulders- not keeled over like drunk sailors. I watched people go for it when it was hard, ride through crap their horses threw at them and never give up the battle. And through it all Brad kept asking for more. More straightness, more suppleness, more bend, more forward, more acceptance of the aids. He made riders ask the right question then wait for the right answer, never accepting less.

The second day I decided I have to believe I can do this because if I don't believe it why would my horse believe me. And I know he can do it, and I have to help him because he won't find it on his own. I have to help him find the connection to the bridle, I have to show him the way. And I can't do it if I'm flopping around in the saddle or moving my hands around like a pair of wiggly handrails on a steep set of stairs. I need to be the steady partner for my horse to help him find his balance.

The third day I finished the job. I didn't just bounce my horse off the rein and accept that as lightness. Brad kept telling me the lightness has to be honest, it has to be from a place of integrity, not a quick fix. That's a fake result and won't help the problem in the long run. With Brad's encouragement- and the cheers of everyone on the sidelines- I went for it and got in there and finished the job. I asked for the result I wanted and held Kelso to it until I got what I wanted. And lo and behold, for the first time we had several moments of true connection and lightness. As Brad says "Don't keep giving the same correction, fix the problem." Yes we looked totally out of control, yes I thought I was going to fall off, yes the people at the end of the arena thought I was going to crash into them. Yes I was yelling "bend and send!" as I careened through the 20m circle. But I got my horse to move in front of my leg. That's the difference between riding and training. Training isn't always pretty, training can look ugly and it can be scary... but it will make your riding better.

It was so inspiring to be in that environment for the weekend. I'm so motivated to ride well and go for it every time, just what I needed going into the spring season. I owe a huge thank you to the Warners for hosting the clinic, to Jenny for chauffeuring my horse, and to Brad Cutshall for being there and being so patient and encouraging.

Can't wait to get back in the saddle!

First Clinic With Kelso!

This afternoon I'm packing up to go to Otter Creek Farm for a dressage clinic with Brad Cutshall. It's mine and Kelso's first big adventure together. I'm excited but nervous that I'll forget something, won't have something I'm supposed to have, look crazy..... etc. It feels like a first big step on my quest to become A Real Horseperson- not just someone who can stay on the back of a horse over a couple jumps and make it through walk, trot, and canter. I'm sure years from now, when I have my well worn and much edited laminated checklists and my bins full of prepacked show gear I'll have forgotten this feeling (or will look back and laugh at my many mistakes!) but for now it's a really fun mix of excitement and anxiety!

Wish me luck... I'm sure I'll have a sore body, a tired horse and lots to report!